


I do it all ( because I love you. )

by wandasmaximoffs



Series: Grantaire vs. Hospitals, Emotions & Near-Death Experiences. [1]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Hospitals, M/M, and in the hospital, consider it post-barricade, except everyone is still alive, gays being gay, references to alcoholism, suicidal thoughts (references to them at least), this is for my pals jam and cass for being super baes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 08:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7837129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wandasmaximoffs/pseuds/wandasmaximoffs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire is not as bothered by his almost-death as he feels he should be. </p>
<p>The largest part, the hardest part, was not the feeling that he would never see Enjolras again, though it was there. It was more that the world would never see Enjolras again. The world needs Enjolras, needs his passion, needs his constant and unwavering faith, his smiles and his laughter and his friendship.</p>
<p>( The world does not need Grantaire. The world has never needed Grantaire. )</p>
<p>( Enjolras disagrees. )</p>
            </blockquote>





	I do it all ( because I love you. )

Grantaire is not as bothered by his almost-death as he feels he should be.

 

The largest part, the hardest part, was not the feeling that he would never see Enjolras again, though it was there. It was more that the _world_ would never see Enjolras again. The world needs Enjolras, needs his passion, needs his constant and unwavering faith, his smiles and his laughter and his friendship.

 

( The world does not need Grantaire. The world has never needed Grantaire. )

 

( Enjolras disagrees. )

 

Grantaire toys with the idea of death far too often for Enjolras’ taste. He wishes he could take it away with kisses and smiles, wishes Grantaire could find salvation in anything but the bottom of a bottle, but he knows that that is not how it works. Grantaire is _good,_ and he is kind, and he is intelligent and thoughtful and passionate and the complete opposite of the pessimistic drunkard that he wears as a suit of armor.

 

( Grantaire does not know any of this. Grantaire sees the world as cold, and himself growing colder with it.

 

Enjolras is like a flame, feeding him warmth and compassion and keeping him alive. )

 

It is easier, with Enjolras, to feel human. To feel inspired, to feel worthy and valuable and like he matters. It is easier to breathe, harder to drink, and while all completely foreign to him, none of it is unwelcome.

 

All this considered, Grantaire is not as bothered by his almost-death as he feels he should be.

 

What does bother him, though, is the near-constant hovering of Marius beside his hospital bed.

 

“Don’t you have something better to be doing,” He sighs, blinking slowly, “Than bothering me? Go see Eponine. Go see Cosette. Go see Jehan or Ferre. Go see--”

 

“No,” He interrupts, and Grantaire is slightly taken aback. “No, I-- I want to ask you something. I heard a rumour, but, I dunno if it’s true or anything--”

  
“Christ, Marius. Spit it out.” Grantaire raises an eyebrow expectantly.

 

“Joly told me you were downstairs, when-- when it happened.”

 

“...And?”

 

“And,” Marius says, shifting. “Bossuet told me they found you and Enjolras together. Enjolras was upstairs, and--”

 

Marius’ so-called _question,_ rapidly gaining in length and confidence, is cut off by the sound of Grantaire’s phone buzzing. He holds up a finger, and after a quick re-arrangement of various tubes and wires, shifts to check it.

 

**( EPONINE || TODAY || 3:09:56 AM:** _Enjolras is awake man, according to ferre_ **)**  
**( EPONINE || TODAY || 3:10:45 AM:** _Just thought u might want to know_ ** _)_**  
**( GRANTAIRE || TODAY || 3:11:23 AM:** _ferre has me under orders to stay put_ _hon_ **)** **  
****( GRANTAIRE || TODAY || 3:11:50 AM:** _god i wish i could see him_ **)**  
**( GRANTAIRE || TODAY || 3:12:30 AM:** _but thank u for letting me know. hope ur doing okay xox_ **)**

 

“Sorry,” He says, and Marius is almost taken aback. ( Grantaire has never apologised to him in his life. ) “Go on.”

 

In truth, he already knows what Marius is going to ask, and he knows that it’s none of his business.

 

_Why did you go from downstairs, and with a minor concussion, to upstairs, with three bullets in you and a major concussion, Grantaire?_  
_Were you really holding his hand, Grantaire?_ _  
Did you know what would happen when you went to find him, Grantaire?_

 

“Um,” Says Marius, as though he can sense Grantaire’s knowledge. Cosette swears he’s psychic. “ I just-- It’s none of my business, but--”

 

“You’re right. It’s not.” It comes out sharper than Grantaire means it too, and he sighs. “He’s… We’re… It’s not fuckin’ _complicated,_ Marius. You’d do the same for Cosette. When you love someone you-- You don’t think about that kind of thing.”

 

Marius nods, but doesn’t turn to leave. Instead, to Grantaire’s great annoyance, he keeps talking.

 

“I talked to Combeferre. He says everyone is present and accounted for. And _alive,_ thank God, Cosette has been in tears all--”

 

“ _Okay._ That’s, that is _way_ too much bonding for us to have in one day. Go see Cosette. If she’s still crying when I next see her, I’ll break your legs.”

 

Marius, knowing that Grantaire is deadly serious, leaves with a nod.

 

 

* * *

 

**( ENJOLRAS || TODAY || 4:02:34 AM:** _Combeferre has assured me at least 50 times that you are alive but wont let me see you, so_ **)**  
**( ENJOLRAS || TODAY || 4:03:56 AM** ** _:_** _Dead men don’t answer phones. Text me back._ **)** **  
**

**( GRANTAIRE || TODAY || 4:04:05 AM:** _babe im fine. Im more than fine. Im peachy. Im so fucking happy and that sounds sarcastic but i swear its not_ **)**

**( GRANTAIRE || TODAY || 4:05:02 AM:** _we’re both alive?? everyone is according to marius??_ **)**  
**( GRANTAIRE || TODAY || 4:05:45 AM:** _im gonna go crazy if i dont see u soon_ **)** **  
**  
**( ENJOLRAS || TODAY || 4:06:08 AM:** _You mean crazier. Evidently, you are already crazy, or you wouldn’t be in the ICU, you’d be with jehan and the others, leaving Eponine and I here to our non-crazy devices._ **)**

**( ENJOLRAS || TODAY || 4:06:55 AM:** _I love you so much._ **)**

 

Grantaire lets his phone fall back against the blankets and smiles so wide that Courfreyac, in the bed opposite him, gives him a funny look from his pain-medication induced haze. He can’t remember the last time he was consciously happy to be alive, not just skating on the feeling of happiness, not just feeling like he doesn’t want to die-- Grantaire is happy, blessedly happy to be _alive._

  
**( GRANTAIRE || TODAY || 4:08:24 AM:** _i love you more. this is 100% true fact trust me i am love scientist._ **)**

**Author's Note:**

> grantaire is a love scientist #confirmed. anyway, comments & kudos and all that are always appreciated, or hmu on tumblr @wanndamaximoff B)))


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